Death to Aeris
by AmbiKitty
Summary: Three girls go around, trying to kill Aeris. If you like Aeris, then, uh, don't read if you do, DON'T FLAME, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Major randomness. Better than it sounds. Finally finished. Please R&R.
1. Part 1

Okay, so, I started this, because my two friends and I really don't like the character Aeris from FF7. I wrote this, so that anyone who hates her, can rejoice in her demise. If you DO like Aeris, please stop reading now, because I really don't want to hear how you like her and that my fic sucks, because of it. Otherwise, this is not to be taken seriously, it's just about me and my friends, going about odd ways to try and kill Aeris.

The people in this is myself (Ambi), obviously, and my two friends; Escachick357 (Esca) and AmazonSakura (Sakura).

Disclaimer: I do not own Aeris; if I did, lord knows what would be in store for her.

…I also don't own my friends, they belong to themselves.

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Death to Aeris – Part 1

Esca, Sakura, and I were at the corner of the local supermarket. Esca yawned. She wasn't used to being up so early in the morning. Both of them sipped on their coffees, while I drank my hot chocolate. It was early in the morning and it didn't help that it was in the middle of winter.

"Okay, so, why are we here again?" Sakura asked me.

I smiled to myself, as I looked out at the parking lot. "WE are going to kill Aeris, once and for all. And we gotta make sure she STAYS dead." I took a drink of my cocoa.

Sakura and Esca looked over at me, as if I was crazy; which, right now, I sort of was.

"Oh, yeah? And how do you plan to do that?" Esca asked me.

"Don't worry. She'll be dead by the end of the day." I said.

Esca and Sakura looked at each other and frowned. They both looked out to the parking lot. "If you say so, Ambi" Esca said and we continued to drink.

An hour later, Aeris walked past us and went into the supermarket. When she was inside, I quickly gave Sakura my hot chocolate and grabbed the hose that I had already hooked up. "Okay, we don't have that long, so one of you go stand by the door and tell me when she's coming." I said, turning the hose on. Esca went to the door to stand watched and Sakura watched me, while I hosed down the parking lot.

"Right. Now, when Aeris comes back out-"

"Uh, Ambi?" Esca called. Sakura looked over at her.

"-she'll slip on this ice and break her neck."

"Ambi." Sakura said.

"What?" I looked over at where they were looking. Aeris was exiting through the other door. When she stepped onto the ice, she almost fell down, but she caught her footing. "Wow, I should really be more careful, it's slippery here." she said and walked off.

The three of us looked at what I had done to the parking lot. "Great. Now, what?" A car was slowly heading our way. When the car hit the ice, it immediately slid and hit a parked car. Five other cars drove onto the ice and had similar accidents; one even went through the window of the super market.

The three of us looked at each other. We quickly dropped whatever we were holding and ran away from the scene, as fast as we could.

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Well, that's part one. Sorry it's so short. Please remember to review and stay tuned for part two.


	2. Part 2

Thank you, to those who had reviewed. Here's part 2, as promised. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: again, I do not own anything.

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Death to Aeris - Part 2

The three of us walked down the street, away from the car pileup, at the store.

"Okay. We need a more direct approach." I said.

"Like what?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know…" I stopped and leaned on a nearby wall. "Come on. Think."

Esca was looking across the street at something. "Hey, guys. I think I've got an idea." She smiled and quickly started across the street.

"What is it…?" Sakura started, but stopped when she saw where Esca was going.

"Ohh dear…" I said.

Sakura and I stood on different ends of the street, while Esca put her plan into motion. We all had walkie-talkies.

"You guys ready?" Esca said.

"I guess so." I said.

"I don't know about this, guys." Sakura said.

"But it might work…!" I whined.

"Yeah, if this doesn't work, you can come up with something, okay?" Esca asked.

"Yeah, okay." Sakura said.

I looked down both ways at my end. "Heads up, guys. She's coming this way." I leaned back against the wall, acting as normal as I could. Esca started up the machine she was sitting in.

Aeris, unknowingly, walked past me. I stuck my tongue out at the back of her head and made a few more rude gestures.

She was almost across from where Esca was.

"Okay, guys, take cover, I don't know how bad this'll be."

Sakura and I backed around our corners, but not to where we couldn't see what was happening.

Esca moved a few of the machines levers and it started to move. The crane swung its wrecking ball in the air one way and then it flung the ball toward the building across the street. The direct hit caused the top of the building to crumble.

Aeris looked up and screamed, as the wrecking ball and the building rubble came down around her; the dust hiding her from view.

The silence was broken, as the three of us came together and rejoiced in the street.

"Yes! The bitch is finally dead!" I yelled.

"We're free! Free at last!" Esca cried.

We all then began laughing and dancing about, as we began to sing, "Ding dong, the bitch is dead."

Not too far into our singing, we heard something from within the rubble of the building. We froze in mid-step to listen.

"Don't tell me…!" I started.

"No! It can't be!" Sakura said.

Esca pointed at the rubble. "It is!"

Sure enough, Aeris appeared in the middle of the rubble. "Someone should really renovate the buildings around here. I could've been killed. I wonder how that happened." She dusted herself off and simply walked away, from yet another murder attempt by us.

When she had rounded the corner, I fell to my knees and raised my hands to the sky. "Why?! Why do you let her live?!" I cried out to any who could hear me.

"Great! So, what the hell are we supposed to do, now?" Esca asked.

We heard sirens in the distance; getting louder.

"Run!" Sakura yelled.

We all tore down the nearest alleyway, away from sure arrest.

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Okay, so that's part 2. I hope you all liked it, even if it was short. Please remember to review and watch for part 3.


	3. Part 3

Thank you, to the people who have reviewed. Here's part 3. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

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Death to Aeris - Part 3

Esca, Sakura, and I sat on my couch.

"Ahh! I can't take it anymore!" I yelled, causing my cat, Kit, to glare at me from the back of the couch. "She's like a cockroach, meets a Twinkie!"

Esca and Sakura look at me.

"A cockroach, Ambi?" Esca asked.

"And a Twinkie?" asked Sakura.

"Yes! A Twinkie! If a bomb were dropped, cockroaches, Twinkies, and Aeris would be all that's left!" I yelled.

"…Bomb…" Sakura thought.

Esca and I slowly turned toward her. "…Sakura…? …What're you thinking…?"

Aeris stepped off the plane.

"Bye! Have fun now!" The pilot and the two other passengers happily called after Aeris.

"Thank you! Have a safe trip back!" Aeris turned to face the land.

"Wow! It's so beautiful here. It sure was nice of those girls to give me this ticket to this resort." She looked around. "Wait. Isn't there supposed to be a resort here…?"

The door of the plane slammed shut behind her.

The plane began picking up speed. Aeris tried to run after it. "No, wait! Don't leave me here! What are you doing?!"

The pilot opened the window. "We're performing a public service!" With that, the pilot closed the window and the plane quickly took off.

Aeris stood there watching, as her only way off the island flew away. "Well, now what do I do?"

-On the plane-

The pilot called back to the her two passengers. "Okay, guys, the bitch is on the island. Now, for part two."

"Okay, Esca." I said. "Alright, Sakura. Press that button!"

"Hehehe." Sakura laughed evilly, as she pressed the button on the detonation device.

The plane began circling the island, as the three of us looked out the window, in time to see the explosion on the island.

"Yeah! Not even that bitch could survive an explosion like that!" yelled Esca.

"And to think, all we had to do is steal that bomb, have Esca take pilot lessons, hijack this plane, and press that button! It set us back a whole lot of money and a lot of freedom, because we'll probably be arrested when we get back home, but it was well worth it!" said Sakura.

"If the police aren't there to arrest us, they'll be there to give us our medals." I said.

"Well, we did it. We finally did it. Let's go home guys…" I said, thoughtfully.

"…Hey, guys? How're we going to explain this whole thing to the government and the guy we stole this plane from?" asked Esca.

"It was all your idea, Sakura, you come up with something." I said.

"I'll do it later…" Sakura said, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes.

The plane flew off toward home.

"Okay, guys, hold on. I wanna try something." Esca said.

I sat down and buckled up. "What are you gonna do, Esc-AHHH!"

The plane had gone into a series of barrel rolls.

"Esca! Are you TRYING to kill us?!" Sakura yelled.

"Wheee!" Esca moved the controls and got us out of the spinning, but now we were doing a major nosedive, directly over the ocean.

Sakura pulled her head from her headrest, just enough to talk. "Damn, Esca! We've finally killed Aeris!"

"Yeah! We want to live to enjoy it!" I yelled, trying to comfortably sit in my seat.

"Oh, alright…" Esca whined and pulled the plane out of the insane nosedive.

We all relaxed and fixed our seatings, as the plane leveled out safely. We were finally going home.

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That's part 3. Please review and watch for part 4.


	4. Part 4

Thank you, to all who had reviewed the previous chapters. Here's part 4. I hope you enjoyed reading. Please enjoy the final part.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Death to Aeris - Part 4

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, classes had been canceled for some, unknown reason, the three of us had gotten time to spend together. We started off with a nice lunch at a local café and now wandering aimlessly around town.

"Ambi? Who are you talking to?" Sakura asked.

"…No one." I said.

"Yes, it seems as the world itself were happy. And best of all, it seems that Aeris had finally-"

"Ambi! For the last time, stop making your narrative thoughts public!" Esca yelled.

"…died…"

Esca and Sakura both sighed and continued to walk along side me.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, we heard a voice, that should not have been heard at all. "Hey! Hey, you guys!"

We stopped in our tracks. We looked around in disbelief, until we looked up and saw the sight, which we dreaded to ever have to see again.

There. At the top of the hill. Was Aeris. Unharmed and alive, a little dirty, but alive nonetheless.

Suddenly, the wind picked up and the sky had clouded over. Somewhere, off in the distance, a baby began crying.

"Please tell me this is just some sick joke that some cosplay girl is pulling on us." I almost begged.

"I need to talk to you girls! Hold on, I'll be right there!" she called and headed for the two flights of stairs, which zigzagged down to where we now stood.

Our eyes had all begun to twitch. "If she gets within ten feet of me, I'm sporking her eyes out." I said as I took out my metal spork.

Esca and Sakura both nodded and we all hung our heads.

We looked up when we heard her scream. Her foot must have caught on the curb. She reached out for the railing, but, it had been recently painted, so her hand slipped and was now covered with paint.

At that exact moment, a cat, followed by a large dog went running down the stairs, which threw her off balance even more.

While she was flailing her arms about, a skateboard came down from the busy street above. Aeris' foot landed on the skateboard, throwing her back, hitting her head.

She sat up, rubbing her head. She became lightheaded from the paint fumes, and so fell forward, and tumbled down a few steps, until she was hurled headlong into a tree.

She stood up, holding her head. She REALLY looked bad now; hair a mess and paint everywhere, not to mention the huge bruise that was forming on her head.

She held onto the railing and stumbled down the next flight, twisting her ankle twice, halfway down.

"Almost…" she started.

We heard a lot of screeching and yelling, coming from up above. Next thing we know, a car comes speeding down the street. The driver had obviously lost control, because they weren't bothering to even slow down.

Aeris finally reached the bottom of the stairs, just as the car came zooming by, plowing through her, and hit a tree, as Aeris came crashing down, body broken.

The three of us stood there, dumbstruck. We couldn't believe what we had just seen happen. We didn't even know what to do.

The driver of the car came stumbling out, along with a passenger. They were an elderly couple.

"Herb, I told you to wear your glasses!" The old lady yelled.

"I can see just fine, Martha." The old man said. They both stopped. "Hey! This isn't Disney Land!"

We all just shuddered at the old couple and walked over to the scene, as did several other people.

One guy grabbed a nearby stick and began to poke Aeris with it. She didn't move. "Hey!" Sakura wretched the stick out of the man's hand. "Don't do that!"

"Yeah!" I said.

"That's OUR job!" Esca yelled.

Sakura broke her stick into three pieces and handed each of us a piece. We proceeded to poke her with our sticks.

The police, ambulance, and the crowd of people were slowly disbanding from the site of Aeris' death.

The three of us continued to watch on the side lines, still unbelieving that it had even happened.

"Well...she's dead…" I said.

"But it's an empty win." Sakura said.

"Yeah, WE were meant to do the job." Esca said, crossing her arms angrily.

"So what do we do now?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know, wanna go get a pizza?"

"Sure." Esca and Sakura said.

The three of us got up and walked away, not forgetting what had happened only a few hours ago.

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Well, that's the last part. I know it kinda sucked, but I can always change it. Please remember to review. Thanks for reading.


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